沒 有 結 局 的 故 事 是 否 只 有 消 散 在 空 氣 中 的 權 利?
忘 不 了, 是 一 種 選 擇 嗎? 還 是 多 餘 的 奢 望?
她 關 了 燈 。
明 天 是 新 的 一 頁 。
也 許 忘 了 已 變 成 習 慣 。

Feeling for an impossibility is like digging a bottomless pit. You'll only sink deeper.

I touched faye's hand! 3 words to describe the concert: Etheral, flawless, timeless.
Anyway a little fiction for everyone. Merry Xmas.

What happens when you fall for someone and have to pretend you didn't? What if you know that the beginning is the end? What if the ending is open ended, and there really isn't an ending at all? Just an empty chasm with a whole world of questions without answers. I loathe uncertainties. Especially uncertainties without a conclusion. The idea of believing in something without a possibility takes my mind into a dimension I do not want to enter. Forced entry fragments my mind.

What do you answer when someone asks you if there's something you want to say and yet you know that saying anything cannot change reality? Silence just helps make things easier for both parties. Would saying what I want to say change the present? If not, what is the use of breaking silence?

What if you know someone likes you and yet not enough to tell you he loves you? What if you know he likes you but that liking is perhaps so little that he tells you he has a girlfriend and you should just not think too much? What if you knew goodbye meant returning him to where he belongs? What if you knew that goodbye is for a long time to come?

What is reality? If reality is too painful, could I rather think of it as fiction?

The Last Samurai was great! There's this lin feng lookalike inside who's soooo cute and adorable! Anyway it was really moving at some pt. Yup, "moving" is the only word I can come up with now cos I'm really tired. Its 2.30am, and I'm trying to pack. TRYING. Anyway me and my fren set out to watch Something's Gotta Give and decided to sneak into the Last Samurai theatre after that show ended. Two for the price of one. haha totally worth it.
I'm flying off tomm yippeeeeeeeeee.
Check my other blog inthemoodforfashion.blogspot.com for photo updates.

I posted a group photo up but I realise cannot really see. Please go to inthemoodforfashion.blogspot.com to see it.

Hey my korean fren told me all about this new ongoing korean show that sounds so so interesting!
Grasshair! You must visit the site (click here : Korean Show ( tt somewhat translates to stairway to heaven) It stars tt KISS video korean guy, and the lead is actually the guy from Wo De Ye Man Nu Jia Jiao ( my sassy tutor, tt cold guy rem? I totally think he's cute!) oh and the girl from the winter sonata, dun really like her. think the evil step sister is much prettier.

If a sock is a clue, you'd be barefooted.

( you're clueless)

"Classic" quote of the day.

haha

Haha ok here goes my wu liao singing. ( Click here - Joey wav)The stupid thing must press record after 60s and the clip is a bit screwed towards the connecting part. and my room mate came back so I couldn't be bothered to record again.

haha thanks ruimin for helping me find the song! It's so nice! I'm listening to it over and over again!
Anyway i found a sound recorder on my comp! it makes my voice sound damn nice. Its like 2.10am now and my voice is practically croaking but it still sounds damn good when I tested out the recording! heh heh I'm gonna sing some nice songs and put it up for you all to see, oops i mean hear! My brain cells must be dying due to excess consumption of MSG ( information courtesy of my fren). Maybe the guy who invented MSG wanted everyone to be stupid so he can be smart! How evil.

I AM LOOKING FOR MP3 of LULLABY BY DAN SEALS!!! ANYBODY KNOWS WHERE TO GET or HAPPENS TO OWN THE CD???

Damn! The radio drama made me tear! If you can even understand a bit of cantonese, please go and listen. I guarantee its definitely one of the best I've heard. The emotions are so real, the love and pain of growing up growing apart, rifts and betrayal. I don't know, its beyond words. So do LEARN cantonese just to listen to it.


*Sleep lay me down, hold me closely in your arms
And I will close my eyes.
Please promise me that when I wake up from my dreams
You’ll be there by my side.

Love, if you say you won’t slip away
Then I can go dreaming of forever more
But I won’t rest until
I know that you’ll be here in the morning by my side.

Here in my reach,
I can see the one that I’ve waited for so long
And deep in my heart I’ll know the arms that hold me now
Will hold me from now on.

I dread the dawn I awake and find you gone
Please tell me you will stay.
Then sleep will come, I know the arms that hold me now
Will hold me all my days.*

Hey I set up this new page for my weekly fashion finds !

Its at www.inthemoodforfashion.blogspot.com

Right now, there isn't much stuff except 2 dresses due to finals. More to come when I visit Hongkong!

Why do I keep getting strange calls???
Yesterday when I was so super pissed with line integrals and crappy stokes theorem, some creep called my handphone. I asked him who he was (cos he totally din sound like anyone familiar) and he said in this creepy voice " haha i'm your fren." Creep. After I hung up on him, he called again to leave some voicemail which I couldn't even catch what it was. This place is full of wierdos and psychos.

Like my new blog background everybody? Ego me thinks its damn nice. haha.

I thought the magazine scam was the ultimate indication of how screwed up this country is, but NO. There is more to come. A few days ago, I read on the bulletin board that this man with a foreign accent has been calling up mothers and telling them that he has held their daughters hostage. Then he asks for sex and money in exchange for their safety. I wonder how anyone could fall for this cos you can easily call your daughter's handphone to verify unless she doesn't have one and doesn't pick up her phone. Anyway, this jerk is like manipulating a parent's love to his own sick advantage. Today, I got this call in the morning, just as I was rushing through my daily routine cos *gasp* I woke up late again. I was damn irritated already when this indian sounding man spoke in a muffled voice about getting free airline tickets and crap. He was like verifying my address ( dunno how on earth he got my add, maybe school directory) and name. I was just like yah yahing all the way. THEN, he asked me for my parents' name. Wah kaoz. I'm like "What?" den he said in this trembling loser voice that he needed it to verify something. He kept persisting so I told him " my dad's name is Ronald McDonald and he lives on 123 Sunshine Lane La la Land now jerk off you creep."

Ok I didn't say that. haha.

He was so desperate, when I refused he said " you can give me your uncle/auntie/grandmother/best friend/grandfather's name and add. " Wah lau I bet his IQ is below 100 lor, how stupid is that? I just didn't wanna waste any more time so I was just cut his call as he was still speaking.
I suspect he's the same guy who made those harassment calls to mothers. He has a foreign accent, and he was asking for the parent's add and phone number. Loser. I advise him to go for brain transplant before he even tries to embark on his criminal journey.

I don't know why I felt this strange concoction of happiness and sadness when I received a card from my parents, neither do I know why I had to hold back the tears. I guess I miss home.

那時候 爸爸總是陪我一起走路上學去
那時候 媽媽總是怕我淋到雨 有時 我希望回到過去
握著它的手好安心 每天我在遠方擔心他的白髮
我想回家 為什麼一定要長大 為什麼世界變得好複雜
我不想獨自面對眼淚流下 我只想緊緊抱著他
我不想別人看穿我的倔強 我真的好想要回家

To be fair, I must say that not all genuinely nice pple are boring. Most yah. But I know some really genuinely nice people who're super interesting as well! haha just that they're prob 5% of the population. Anyway, I believe its perfectly fine if someone is nice from the heart ( like those can't ever be mean cos its just not them to be evil) but there's no point in TRYING to be nice when you know you're not one of those angelic individuals around. I'd rather be hated for my cynicism than to be loved for my pseudo niceness. ( haha sound familiar? I stole the sentence structure from Kurt Cobain's I'd rather be hated for who i am than loved for who I am not.) Life does not consist only of rainbows, roses, smiley faces and kindness. Happiness is one dimensional. Its universal! There's just this much you can say about happiness and positive things. Period. Of course, I'm not saying there is anything wrong with feeling happy cos there isn't. In addition I don't want to be some gothic cynic ranting about the world's dark ages all day long. BUT neither do I want to only live in la la land where I TRY to be extra nice to everybody ( besides those that I'm naturally nice to) when I jolly well know I'm faking it. What's the point? At the end of the day, you feel like you've cheated yourself cos you've hidden your true identity to compensate for what you believe society's stereotypical morals expect of you. Besides, I AM cynical. I like to see the world beyond its happiness. I believe cynicism wakes you up to reality! There is no point in believing the world is a happy perfect place when it is obviously in chaos. I know its good to see glimmers of hope amidst the depression but over indulgence in optimism narrows your scope of the world to what you choose to believe it is. I guess I haven't reached the age of being to detach myself from this world such that I find peace in every screwed up thing I see. This notion of zen will probably work for me when I'm 80. ( or it might not work at all) Anyway I love the way I am now because cynicism makes me think. It helps me write my English essays. Most imptly, it helps me appreciate better the way the real world functions. No fairy tale land for me thank you.

I think cynicism is essential for societal progress. Can you imagine a world with smiley individuals who laughs appropriately, agrees with every issue and cracks politically correct jokes? ( if you can even call those jokes in the first place). I think a person like me will die if I had to live in a pseudo world filled with "bright and cheery happiness" everyday. Not that I have anything against all the nice people out there, just that I believe no one can be nice 24/7. ( and i realise when you don't know someone well enough, you are nice and normal. Like I never show my mean side to people I meet during orientation. haha which is kinda sad cos Im boring when im nice. haha) Not me anyway. ( ok im mean, but that's not the point). My point is, its tiring to be TOO nice. It is chillingly creepy ( im trying to emphasize my point here haha) if anyone can live 365 days without any complaints on life, world, and society, The person must not be utilising his/ her intellectual capacities. Sarcasm and ,well, a substantial amount of cynicism makes the world a better, funnier place to live in, don't you think?

The world is so small! Shan shan! I just realise your fren Stef was one of the part-timers at SNEF- the place I worked at. haha I recognise her when I was looking through the photos and saw her with another Ee-huay who also worked there. haha. amazing.

Read these lyrics. For the benefit of those who don't really *ahem* understand chinese, this is about how one wishes time difference can help him turn back time and return to the day when he ended his relationship.

當飛機飛過換日線一邊
可不可返回情人離開的一天
將分手一節倒轉再開演
後果相差可會很遠
你的深宵三點 我的清晨七點 在世界各一端
難道你和我 經已 從此相差一天
無法令你讓我贖回 命裡最是錯一天
這班飛機開往過去一天
彷彿想追回從前遺失的鐘點

hahha econs is damn funny. The lecturer was like " Do you know as number of pple smoking in Czech republic increases, it actually benefits the governemnt?" n guess what's the reason.

Haha cos ppl die earlier if they smoke. Then the government can reduce cost on health care benefits for the old cos many ppl dun live to that age. hahahahaahahaha isn't this damn amusing? I had to control laughing long after everyone did.

Sadistic cynical me.

Anyway found a new reality show! Heh you guys can pray that it comes to Singapore!

The Simple Life

(top picture shows model dressed in dress designed by Donatella Versace, my fave dress of all the designs!)


The latest issue of Vogue US edition did a fashion spread based on the theme of Alice in Wonderland. Designers like Marc Jacobs, Karl Lagerfieldm, Viktor and Rolf, Tom Ford etc dressed model Natalia Vodianova according to their perception of Alice. The spread is totally superb, the model is gorgeous and the clothes are fabulous! Visit Vogue's site for an eye feast simply out of this world!

VOGUE MAGAZINE


Some of the pictures are really small so try to see the actual magazine at kino or sth, you'll be totally amazed and impressed! ( the cover is Renee Zellwegger)

Is it more painful to love someone who will never love you, or to be loved by someone whom you will never love?

I hate candy lo. But I still put up her latest songs cos I think the chorus is superb. Just ignore her sickening whiny voice at the start and you'll live to hear the chorus.

I feel inherently cynical. I shall do sth evil tomm. heh heh heh.

Heh heh. The song thing is closed! No need to try anymore. The songs are found.

Eh i love the radio drama! its the best one i've heard after gigi leung's one on falling in love with a living corpse ( which is tony leung kar fai by e way, if it was me, I would love a corpse like him too! haha) Anyway, it has 80s songs infused in it, and all the songs sound so good. That's y all of you should learn canto so u can appreciate the better things in life. hahaa. (candice, i cant believe u think its boring, another living proof of ur bad taste, haha) Anyway, please please please can u all listen to episode 10 i think like 8 min into the recording, there's this 80s english song. PLease listen and tell me the song title ok??? It sounds super familiar but I cant seem to recall and its driving me nuts ( as u all know, im already insane enuf, i dun wanna end up in McClean) Then fast forward to 45:50 min into the show, there's another song. Tell me the title as well! heh if any of u find the mp3 as well, I'll treat u to lunch ! ( haha i still rem nov's name guessing game, whatever happened to it? my task is easier ok so i expect some response!)
CLICK ON THE LINK IN THE PREVIOUS POST.

Found this radio drama with a star studded cast! Check it out!
http://www.rthk.org.hk/special/qqco/#story

HAHA i found that QUICKTIME supports amr files! okie. so whenever i post any recordings just play it on quicktime!

ahh stupid. anyone knows what programme to use to open file extension AMR??

I have to come up with 3 haikus by 2.20pm. sucks. Fell asleep during econs. What a horrible start to the week. I hate Mondays. I hate the wind which acts like it wants to blow the whole world away. I hate the loss of inspiration. That reminds me, I like this song some hip hop group danced to during the magazine launch. Its called Shut Up by Black Eyed Peas ( the ppl inside all look like ex convicts). Check it out!
http://www.blackeyedpeas.com/
click on the mtv to listen to the song. I just like the repeated shut up parts ( not the rap), I wish I can say it to all the hypocrites in the world who lie about their pathetic social standings to hide the fact that they are the losers whom they refuse to admit. Just how pathetic can one get? Not to mention stupid. I think they should eat some Intelligence pills before they even attempt to lie. Anyway I think its an issue of having an extremely low self esteem to the point that one hallucinates about a life they wished they could lead. Isn't it sad that the world consists of such people with mild delusional disorders? You guys will definitely laugh if I tell you the rest of her made up life. HAHA.