一絲溫馨一些妄想 在暖昧裡逐漸枯死
其實我輸不起
被困於感覺似是而非 仍未揣測到你心理
還是趁早把你忘記 或你於心中太完美

Do this Friend quiz thing:
*click here: http://tiffmars.friendtest.com*


It's damn crap and damn easy, if u all dun get high score, i'll come after u all.

Due to momentary bouts of depression nowadays, tiny specks of irritation around me are suddenly magnified into killer size dustballs. Save me from The Ultimate Attack of the Killer Math Freak. Can u imagine someone talking non stop about math, phys, stats, math problems, matrix and wat other freaking stuff he has in his brains? Before class, " I think this matrix.......times the identity matrix... oh yah linear independence”. Dinner ( how unfortunate of me), " scholarships.... blah blah.... research..... phys... blah dunno wat credits....." I should play Black Eyed Peas' Shut Up for him to hear. If he looks like Daniel Wu or Takeshi Kaneshiro, I think I'll forgive him. ( sorry im shallow). At that point, I couldn't stand it anymore. Come on. A dinner conversation turned into a horrendous GP discussion on a bad day? So i just said, " I think linear algebra is boring. Its driving me nuts." He comments " Aren't you a math major?" I feel like saying, " Sorry I have a life beyond mathematics."
What a sorry fellow. But I don't feel sorry for him at all. I can just imagine him talking about phys and math for the rest of his dunno how long life.
Good guys are hard to find. The presence of such beings further reinforces my theory and makes me sink deeper into depression.
I need Prozac.
And that guy needs Ecstasy.

At this moment in time, I can imagine some of you thinking " Ahhh, finally an english post! Thank goodness."

既然已经说清楚， 故事被迫画上句号。
她只好当作什么都没发生过。
闲聊间，她问他有否听过 “想得太远”这首歌。
她说歌词填得很好，其实是因为歌词写的是她的故事和感觉。
她不期盼他明白原因。
她想他也不会吧，因他只说了他听过。
后来，无意间发现他的网上日记。
他把歌词贴在网页上。
最后一句，竟是“对不起“。
原来他是明白的。
不说的原因可能有很多。
其实，她也不想知道。
那天，在咖啡室看见他和几个朋友坐在店内的角落。
她没有走过去。
见到了，又能说些什么呢？
如果只是一些无谓的寒暄， 有必要吗？
也许，她还没真正学懂怎去面对他。

Song of the moment

大慨這算是迷戀
這路程得幾分鐘真是太短
大慨你都想 去後樂園
卻怕孤單一個人兜圈
誰人在挑選　如何被挑選
如何教我結識你怎麼相戀
為何坐到那麼近　卻想得這樣遠
人浪為何會流轉


＊若幸運一點一早找到你
但幸運可否擔保得到你
就望著際遇鋪展我的天與地
願錯亦錯得起
若命運叫我只懂喜歡你
但願亦有幸懂得留住你
如若過去我太在乎　相遇別離　請准我預備
從來未吻你　卻已學懂去被忘記 ＊

憑什麼可以愛上所愛
我自問日夜等待
結局為何揭不開
等緣份　信緣份
我們只好相信　下集定是更精彩

Repeat＊

憑什麼可以愛上所愛
我自問日夜等待
結局為何揭不開
等緣份　信緣份
我只好相信　來來回回難避開

若命運叫我只懂喜歡你
但願亦有幸懂得留住你
如若過去我太在乎　相遇別離　請准我預備
仍然未識你　卻已幻想那份驚喜

You don't have the slightest idea how apt this song is. its almost as if its written for me.

她还记得，那天跟他闲聊。
问他有没有抽烟的习惯， 他说没有。
因为Ann不喜欢抽烟的人。
“Ann 是我女朋友。” 他解释说。
可能他一直都想找机会说清楚。
可能他知道她已爱上他。
交待含糊不清的关系后，
两个人，
可能只有变回陌生人的余地。
互不相干，
继续自己的路程。
就像两条交汇过的线 ，
向着不同的方向走着，
以后都不会碰上。
其实那些回忆又算什么？
对他来说，大概只是一时的差错吧。
她讨厌命运，因为她总是比别人迟到。
3个月，5个月。
下次又会迟多久呢？
她不想知道。
她很害怕。
她不想永远都是迟到，然后被遗留下来的那一个。

Anyway please dun ask me anything about him anymore. or ask me why I'm saying this.
yah. not for the time being. I just remembered reading my astrological predictions for fun at the beginning of this year. It is creepily true.

愛很簡單，一次落錯車輾轉了兩個人的幸運
假如愛有天意，你一步一生埋下情陷三角志的伏線
身邊七友，遇見你愛不釋手的亂世佳人
即使她比我醜，你仍與她邊走邊愛
過去你無聲地掩飾向左愛向右愛
盲目跟你走在一起，是我想得太遠了
你聽得到，就讓我情逃十面埋伏
今夜還你門匙，寫下飛女正傳記載這段玻璃之情

I came across this compilation album which strung all the song titles into a story. pretty cool huh?
All the highlighted titles are songs.

也許是你修長的手指尖
也許是你突然笑起來的感覺
輕靠著你的肩 我已經不在乎 靠不住的永遠

有時候不知不覺會流淚
有時候覺得對你完全不了解
寂寞很安全 但我寧願冒險
看不到的明天 只要 看得到你

因為愛上了 什麼都捨不得
為了愛心疼 說真的我很快樂
你也許不會是我 牽著手 走到最後的人
那又如何 思念是誠實的

@因為愛上了 什麼都原諒了
愛到哪一天 自己都不敢保證
我們之外的別人
不會懂 我這樣的選擇 那又如何

雖然有時在懷裡 你的眼神遠遠的 我沒有多問

我就是愛上了 我就是認真了
有什麼不對呢

Guess what? I was feeling a bit wu liao so i went to search friendster again. i managed to find all the hk models (real pages of them), like Maggie Q, Danielle, Ase Wang ( this singapore model based in hk), Ana R ( Ah mei's ex bf's new gf) and Brian ( ah mei's ex) this is sooooo amazing. Soon i'd be finding daniel wu etc. haha

heh heh today it's the tenth time some stranger commented that my boots are cool! hahaa
CHEAP THRILL.

那天以后，她和他没有再碰上。
记忆慢慢被冲淡。
有一天，她碰上另一个他，就是那个每星期走进数学堂都会碰到的男生。
他很简单，　跟他很不同。
他不是太难理解，不会有太多的脸孔。
沉闷？
或许是这就是稳定吧。
平淡有时也有它好的一面。
一个下午，她走到他的宿舍找他。
开门的，不是她这次要找的人，
而是她一直找了很久的他。

ok right. so far all those who've seen the pic has the following comments.

Good ones:
Quite nice! You got good taste ( Huishan)
Nov said sth good. haha.
Sera, you said something good abt him rite? i dun rem anything negative.

Bad ones:
He has the hardened drug addict look (Ruimin)
oshh. Gosh( 2 goshes to emphasize ur pt)... I saw him on friendster but I didn't think he was cute enought to be ur *____*
One look already know he looks like a playboy lah. ( Candice)

Candice, by far your comment is the worst!

But what if you're right?
What if yours is really closest to the truth?

有时候，我们会不会被一时的冲动，蒙蔽了眼睛，失去了理智？
难道这世界，真的没有完美？
完美，只是幻觉吧。
幻觉背后的那个人，我认识吗？
是否我认识的那个他，只是我幻想的假象？
对于他，我不是懂得太多。
现实的他，跟我想象德，实在不太一样。
不同的差别太大，大得令我感到有点可怕。

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR!
Updated my FASHION BLOG
*click here*

I realise that how a person changes from acquaintance to friend is pretty simple. When you just get to know this person, of cos, there's nothing else to chat about but crap. ( music, studies, movies, gossips, whatever) If you're lucky, you hit upon this certain spot where both individuals just click, like *snap* the connection is made and you INSTANTLY feel like you've hit the right spot, spot on. It could be a sentence, a topic, or even a simple idea. But there're some people whom you never seem to find the right spot to hit on, it's so elusive you probably missed it a million times over. Those are the ones who'll remain acquaintances with you no matter how much you talk to them. The relationship is superficial, surface like because you never have the opportunity to reach deep enough.

Now its time to MUGＭＵＧMUG anyway im going new york during spring break!
yeah sera! we're gonna have such a great time!!!!

I'm damn high in serotonin manz. I need some dopamine people.
( lost at this point? check it up if you have nothing else to do)
and yah I'm SICK too. what the....

greattttttt..... i just found out he's attached. I mean yah my fren said he had a gf last sem but she doesn't think he has one now. But yah I think he does. So yup. I'm not really in the mood to blog right now.

I believe that, with time, you can cease to love the person you once did， but you will never forget that feeling of being loved at that moment.

结束是明天的开始。
或许这个世界其实很美，只是有时眼睛被乌云蒙蔽， 看不见灰暗背后的彩虹。

Anyway, I'm totally OVER leon lai. haha.
heh hope he's not attached! Even if he is, it was still such a sweet memory!
( haha think all of you should know what i'm talking abt!)

如果有人还天真地认为爱很简单，大概她并没真正的爱过。
也许你爱他，他却爱着别人。
不说，会一生遗憾。
说了，比不说更遗憾。
又或者，　时机错误。　
中间隔着一个人，一些道德问题，一个无法继续的错。
同时爱上两个人，当中的选择，从来不简单。
被选上的，该感到幸福吗？
被牺牲的，又应走向颓废吗？
也许，有缘无份是一种消极的俗套说法。
缘分，根本就是一座你建向你爱的人的桥。
至少电影里是这样演绎的。
太迟，太错，太不实际。
这些都是借口吧。
也许真正的原因是他并不是真的爱她。
也许只是那一刻的冲动。
时间冲淡了的感觉，就这样消散在空气中。
遗留下来的，只有模糊的记忆吧。

Hey you know if I marry a guy whose surname is Diamond，　Ｉ'd be Tiffany Diamond!
How cool is that??!!
hahaaaa
Anyway I highly recommend Emi Fujita's Camomile Blend. She did cover versions of various English songs. (yup its not a japanese cd). I think they have it at That CD Shop. You can't miss the cover! Its so beautiful.

她走上前。

“嗨。”

那位笑得很无邪的女孩似乎并不认识她。
“ 你不介绍我们吗？”

“Vivian. Ann."

"她是............?"

他不知所措。 她是朋友，知己或是情人？
他自己也不太清楚。

“旧同学。”

她不在乎的解说。

" 我走了，旧生会见吧。 ”

趁女孩转身时， 她凑近他的耳边。

“她是天使吗？ 可惜我永远只可当魔鬼。”

在这个城市里，有多少人在扮演着魔鬼的角色呢？
究竟是魔鬼邪恶，还是天使太纯真？

I'M DAMN AMAZED!!! I was surfing for Leon Lai mtvs ( ok shut up! DUN laugh at me!) and i chanced upon the fact that he's 37 YEARS OLD! 37 leh! DATS LIKE HOOWWWWW OLD!?!!! But its undeniable he looks much younger than his actual age. So you all still shouldn't call him ah pek. Ah pek is reserved for the likes of jacky wu and jackie chan etc sleazy old men.

星期六，晴，我遇见你。
身旁的她笑得很灿烂，有点像那时的我。
只是她的爱却没被封上限期。　
对她而言，无拘不是一种奢望，而是必然。
刻骨铭心，是被封上死亡的爱情；
或许，细水长流才是幸福的标记。

Check out my latest obsession!
------>*click here*<------

一段无言的对话。
一滴眼泪。
一个故事的结束。

当时针踏上12时，你变回一个陌生人。
站在街角的咖啡店外看着你离去的背影，我竟无法找到任何熟悉的轨迹。
没有不舍的回望，只有无情的冷酷。
你渐渐消失在模糊的万花通世界里。

I was thinking about how strangers can just hook up on the raunchy dance floor *snap* just like that，and the brilliant me came up with a short story. haha. a one paragraph scenario. enjoy. For those who're chinese deficient, it's just too bad that you don't get to sample this great work of mine. *evil laugh*

舞池五光十色的彩绘， 背后隐藏着的，究竟是灰暗的孤寂， 或是许多失败的爱情故事？
放荡的身躯，试图在音乐和酒精的漩涡里忘却自己。
昏暗的光线遮掩了泪水， 烦躁的声音盖过心中的呐喊。
此刻的她， 尝试从陌生人的身上寻回恋爱的感觉。
一种虚幻的意识。
她继续沉浸在堕落中， 却被一双手猛然地拖出舞池。

一巴掌落在脸上，令她似乎清醒一点。

“以前的你是否死了？”

他回来了。却出现在不适当的时间和地点。

“我只想忘记以前。 ”

她转身离开，他却捉住她的手。

“对不起。”

他可以说的，就只有这一句吧。
他无法给予任何承诺。可能连爱都说不出口。

“你爱我吗？你可以吗？”

他缓慢的松开了手。

没有结果的爱情，可能连说出口的权利也没有。

Ok. Please dun tell me this song sucks. It took me a LONG time to find a Leon Lai song that sounds decent enough to be on the blog. I tell you. His songs REALLY cannot make it. haha. But I wanna put his photo on my blog so haha you all have to bear with this! Check out the album cover, dun u all think he looks sooo suave?? haha and I dun wanna hear any words like " ah pek" from anyone!

*I'm so glad my fren found this lovely poem and I just have to put it on my blog too cos its beautiful beyond words.*

They're both convinced
that a sudden passion joined them.
Such certainty is beautiful,
but uncertainty is more beautiful still.

Since they'd never met before, they're sure
that there'd been nothing between them.
But what's the word from the streets, staircases, hallways---
perhaps they've passed by each other a million times?

I want to ask them
if they don't remember---
a moment face to face
in some revolving door?
perhaps a "sorry" muttered in ta crowd?
a cut "wrong number" caught in the receiver?
but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.

Thay'd be amazed to hear
that Cance has been toying with them
now for years.

not quite ready yet
to become their Destiny,
it pushed them close, drove them apart,
it barred their path,
stifling a laugh,
and then leaped aside.

There were signs and signals,
even if they couldn't read them yet.
perhaps three years ago
or just last Tuesday
a certain leaf fluttered
from one shoulder to another?
Something was dropped and them picked up.
Who knows, maybe the ball that vanished
into childhood's thicket?

There were doorknobs and doorbells
where one touch had covered another
beforehand.
Suitcases checked and standing side by side.
One night, perhaps, the same dream,
grown hazy by the morning.

Every beginning
is only a sequel, after all,
and the book of events
is always open halfway through.

~Wislawa Szymborska, "Love at First Sight"

愛情 會不會因為下錯站而發生
假如有人等你 你會跟她走多遠
地下鐵的出口 有人再等我嗎?

hey check out my math lecturer's site, he's err... funny hahaaa but he doesn't show tt cracky side of him in class haa

http://www.math.lsa.umich.edu/~belljp/

I cut my hair yesterday! You know sometimes hair gets so long that it gets uglily messy. You know you just cant take care of it anymore. I had to cut it all away although I am someone who don't believe in short hair. After you cut it, you know it's all for the better.

Don't you think that sometimes in life you just can't hang on to something you like because you just know you're not supposed to? In the end, it comes to a stage where parting with something you like is better than staying with it.

Have you ever had that feeling?

Happy New Year everybody!
Anyway ruyi, the code to put the music is: embed src="http://www.angelfire.com/blog/tiffmars/joey.wma"
The bold part is the ur own homepage where you uploaded ur music file to. That means you have to set up a personal homepage with angelfire first, upload ur file there and link it there. Hope that helps!

Anyway I updated my fashion page. Go check!